'Ebony and Ivory'
I asked my Uber driver how his night was so far. He exhaled and said it had been a “weird” day. I asked if he minded sharing. In a near whisper, he warned me that what he was about to say, he “couldn’t make up.” He said he and a woman he was driving pulled up to an intersection earlier that afternoon. On the corner was a man who was “clearly high.” “It looked like he had some bad heroin,” my driver said. He described the man and his body language. What was most notable were his pants. They hung so low, the man's buttocks were exposed. My driver told me he and the woman went silent, but both gasped when the man turned. One side of the exposed buttocks was “white, like the rest of him,” but the other was dark. I pressed for clarification. “It looked like, his butt was a giant yin and yang,” my driver said. “Or, like, the sun coming up over a horizon, but vertical. One side black, the other white. Ebony and ivory.” I told him there must be an explanation. Maybe it was a birthmark, or he was wearing dark underwear that was torn on one side. He said he and his passenger debated the birthmark possibility, but they could see his underwear hanging low along with his pants. I then asked if he thought the man was a danger to himself or to others. My driver didn’t think so. He said the man looked “too happy” to hurt anyone; "he didn't seem to notice or care." My driver then shook his head. "Man," he exhaled. “It was like, he was getting an @$$-whooping – I mean, a literal @$$-whooping – and then he just, I don’t know, turned the other cheek.”